The following piece will be in the Toronto Star In Memoriam section
   on Monday, December 16.

BOMPHRAY, Clint -
January 12, 1943-December 16, 2010
Gone from our sight
but never our memories.
Gone from our touch
but never our hearts.
- Love always, Sue

On that day I will be doing my usual Monday volunteering-driving cancer patients to their hospital appointments. A very fitting way to remember Clint, I think.
However you celebrate at this time of the year, I wish you a peaceful, healthy and joyful season.

Clint's Birthday

Today, January 12 would have been Clint’s 70th birthday. Tonight  I am going to dinner to celebrate Jennie’s god daughter’s 16th birthday. Life goes on. Please raise a glass to absent friends as I will be doing tonight.
“Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision, but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and tomorrow a vision of hope.”
Sue

As we come up to the two year anniversary of Clint’s death it’s hard to believe that so much time has passed. A few of our acquaintances have fallen by the wayside during that time, but all our friends have hung in and I can’t begin to tell you how important it has been to me that you, dear friends are still here. Friends continue to feed me, entertain me, write to me, advise me, let me cry, making me laugh, but most of all I know you are as close as a phone call away when I need an ear or a shoulder.
Clint and I were not joined at the hip, we both had our own lives and our own set of friends as well as doing lots of things together, so it surprises me somewhat just how empty it is without him in my life. I know that my life compared to many others is comfortable, but it is greatly diminished with the loss of Clint. He added a richness to my life that I did not always appreciate when he was here.
 My emotions are always close to the surface ready to overflow at any small sadness- a sad song, story,image or simply a piece of mail addressed to Clint. I get overwhelmed by things I used to take in stride and when I do, I try to hear Clint saying to me as he always did “What’s the worst that can happen?” and of course usually it’s not that bad.
I am spending almost half my time in England now as my family there is very small and ever dwindling. It’s very comfortable there as it’s where my roots are, but Toronto is my home and almost all my friends are in Canada. Some of you who have moved far from your native land may understand this, but wherever I am I seem to miss the place I am not in. It seems to be a bit difficult to rebuild my life in either place when I am always in transit from one home to the other.
Although I love my house and neighbourhood it’s a double edged sword. I am sometimes comforted to be in the home that has so much of Clint in it, but sometimes that makes the loss very painful. I hope I’ll know when I’m ready to make a move and it doesn’t seem to be the right time yet.
I have placed the following memorium in the Toronto Star which will appear on Sunday December 16.
BOMPHRAY, Clint —
Since your passing two years ago, I
have a hole in my heart I cannot fill. I
miss you every day - my best friend,
lover, partner in life.
— Love you always, Sue

Thanks again for being there for me. As someone unknown once said “ I would thank you from the bottom of my heart, but for you my heart has no bottom.”

Whatever you celebrate at this holiday season, I wish you health, love, joy and abundance.

Clint would have been 69 today.
I am back from my travels and although I’m glad to be home, the long empty winter ahead of me is rather overwhelming. I have started seeing a psychotherapist and she insists that what I’m going through is very common in the grieving journey. She also tells me that the second year can be worse than the first for some people-not what I want to hear in some ways, but comforting in others, knowing it’s not just me.
A sad day, but as always thanks to you my wonderful friends, who continue to be there for me.

I'm off on another adventure and will be back in the New Year.
An Aboriginal shaman who is a neighbour of mine, has told me that Clint will be with me and I will see him in a reflection during my trip. I try to keep an open mind about these things and will let you know if it happens!
A good friend recently sent me this article. It really spoke to me in a number of ways and I found it quite comforting. It is well worth reading. It is on a site called Virtual Hospice that we started reading a year ago when we began to think about palliative care for Clint.

http://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Support/Support/Your+Stories/Current/Life+After+Loss.aspx

It is eleven months today since Clint slipped away and left us. I still miss him every day, but time does help to dull the sharp pain of the early days after his death.
I have been away for 6 weeks visiting my family in England and finally making the long planned trip to Morocco. I found England easier to deal with than I did in the spring and came back feeling quite refreshed.
Some of you may know that I toyed with the idea of selling my house, when the plans came out for the new development that is to be built right next door to me. I thought about it a lot while I was away and have decided that if I do sell, I will not do it until the new development is built and that has made me feel much more settled.
I am not looking forward to the next month or so - too many difficult anniversaries and celebrations, so I have booked to go away. I leave in early December heading to Hong Kong, Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam, arriving back at the end of the month. While I am away I hope to write a travel blog using the new iPad that Clint's sister, Karen so generously bought me!
The Simple Alternatives Funeral Home where Clint was cremated, is holding a candlelight memorial service on December 11th to honour all the people who died this year. Although I won't be able to be there, I have included Clint's name, so if anyone would like to go, please contact the funeral home by December 5th (416-441-1580)
I will also be putting a memorial piece in The Toronto Star on December 16.
It is only because of you, my wonderful friends that I'm still standing at the end of this year and continue to feel so blessed, to have friends like you who have shared this difficult journey.
I wish you all a joyful holiday season, don't forget to tell people that you love them and live every day to the fullest.

This quote was given to me by a dear friend, who, when she had a great deal of pain in her life was often told by people (including me) that she would get over it as she was a strong woman. I now realize it wasn’t as helpful as I thought it was.

Strength and Courage
 
It takes strength to be firm,
  It takes courage to be gentle.

It takes strength to stand guard,
  It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer,
   It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to be certain,
   It takes courage to show doubt.

It takes strength to to fit in,
   It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to feel a friend’s pain,
   It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide feelings,
It takes courage to show them.

It takes strength to endure abuse,
   It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone,
   It takes courage to lean on another.

It takes strength to love,
  It takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive,
   It takes courage to live.

The beach at Lantzville on Vancouver Island

Clint's sister Karen and cousins Gary, Margaret and Robin scattered some of Clint's ashes here. It is a beautiful place and he would have heartily approved.