Today it is exactly nine months since Clint’s death and I can’t honestly say it has become any easier to cope with. I’ve been re-reading some of the books about grieving that I first read months ago and some of them are making more sense to me now, than they did then.
Here’s a quote from Understanding Your Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt
 
Grief Attacks or Griefbursts
Sometimes out of nowhere can come an overwhelming feeling of grief. This grief burst is a sudden sharp feeling of grief than can cause anxiety and pain. Some people call them grief attacks because they attack you without warning. People frequently encounter pangs or spasms of grief between relatively pain free blocks of time. During a griefburst, you may feel an overwhelming sense of missing the person you loved and find yourself openly crying or even sobbing. They are normal and when and if one strikes you, be compassionate with yourself. You have every right to miss the person who has died and to feel temporary paralysis or lack of control. Don’t try to control a griefburst when it comes. It is probably more powerful than you are. I like to think of griefbursts as evidence that those we love are determined not to be forgotten. Although the pain of a grief attack hurts so deeply, allow it to wash over you.

Karen is in BC and has taken some of Clint’s ashes to scatter on Vancouver Island. Clint talked to me often of the happy times he spent out there with his grandparents when he was a boy. A number of his cousins live there, some of whom will take part in the scattering.
I am off travelling, leaving this weekend and returning at the end of October.

I thought this quote from Expand This Moment : focused meditations to quiet your mind, brighten your mood and set yourself free by John Selby, was interesting too.
The feelings in the region of your heart both good and bad seem to be purely emotional, but they have a definite physiological cause. Research has shown that when your heart is “broken” and you feel a terrible aching in your chest, your heart muscles are in fact painfully tensed and experiencing reduced blood flow and oxygenation. Heartache is without question a genuine physiological ache.

Thanks for continuing to read my thoughts, dear friends. Without you I’d be out of my mind, let alone having any lucid thoughts!