I joined a bereavement group at Wellspring a few weeks ago, but only attended one meeting. I found that listening to other people’s sad stories was far too painful for me so decided instead to do some reading in the hopes it might help me.
Below are the books I have - if any of you have any book suggestions I’m open to them.
The Grief Recovery Handbook - John James and Russell Friedman
The premise of the book is that grief is the conflicting feelings caused by the end of, or change in a familiar pattern of behaviour. Some of the major loss events in your life including death are talked about, but there can be other loss experiences such as divorce, retirement, end of addiction, legal problems and major health changes.
The authors believe that incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect on the capacity for happiness.
Their grief recovery program gives specific actions to move beyond loss. This book did not speak to me, partly because I do not feel I have an incomplete emotional relationship with anyone in my life, especially not Clint.

Widow to Widow - Genevieve Davis Ginsburg
In this book the author offers fellow widows-as well as their family and friends advice for coping with the loss of a husband. From learning to travel and eat alone, creating new routines to surviving the holidays and anniversaries that reopen emotional wounds. It walks readers through the challenges of widowhood and encourages them on their path to building a new life.
I found this book to be very readable and quite useful. I decided that I did not want to keep a journal, but instead just wrote down quotes from books I was reading in a notebook. I am continuing to do this and re-read them quite often.

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
This book looks at the way we experience the process of grief.
It applies 5 stages to the grieving process - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing.
I was not very keen on the idea of this book with the 5 stages of grief, as I couldn’t put myself into some of the stages. For example I couldn’t understand how anyone could deny someone had died. It made more sense though when she explained the stages more clearly. By denial she is not saying that someone would actually deny the death, but more that you can’t believe that the person will never walk through the door again as your mind can’t fully process the death. This, I totally understand. It seems that her stages have been misinterpreted rather rigidly by critics, she does keep pointing out that there is no typical response to loss as there is no typical loss. The stages were never intended as a blueprint for dealing with grief. They were observations of responses to personal loss.
Again, I found that I wrote down the statements that spoke to me and this was helpful in putting some order into my own thoughts and feelings

Healing after Loss:Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief - Martha W. Hickman
This little book has readings for every day. The meditations and quotes are short and I read it every day first thing. There has been some comments that it is too religious, but I don’t find it to be.

Understanding Your Grief: Ten essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart Alan D. Wolfelt
He suggests that you think of your grief as a wilderness which you must journey through. To find your way out you must become acquainted with its terrain and learn how to follow the trail that leads to healing. The touchstones he writes about are the trail markers that let you know you are on the right path. Some of the touchstones are Open to the presence of your loss, Explore your feelings of loss, Reach out for help and Seek reconciliation not resolution.
His analogy works for me and I’m finding this book very helpful although I’m only up to Touchstone 3 right now.

The Truth About Grief: The Myth of its Five Stages and the New Science of Loss - Ruth Davis Konigsberg
I have a copy of this, but haven’t started it yet. She maintains that the five stages of loss have no validity. She writes that the stages have no basis in science, but nonetheless became national myth. I’ll write more about it when I have read it!

I had a first today! I managed to put a piece of IKEA furniture together on my own and only had to take it apart twice due to mistakes. (oh- and I only had one screw left over so hopefully it won’t fall apart!)